Short Story - The Brucible
Posted by Jayson on January 11th, 2008 filed in Short storiesThe other day I found myself leaving the office without a book to read on MUNI and stopping by a friends room before leaving, was handed a copy of The Crucible by Arthur Miller. While not exactly my usual turn of the 20th century Sword and Planet, lost world, Voodoo and Zulu war, or thriller fare (and oceans separate them let me tell you) I was desperate. So I read this book, actually a play, and well … it just pissed me off.
Reading the book, the following scene as a replacement for Act 3 in Mr. Miller’s play kept coming into my head and I had to put it down. Here is my version of Act 3 of the Crucible as a new play. Enjoy.
THE BRUCIBLE
Act 3
As the curtain rises on the meeting room where the Salem court is in session, the Judge Hawthorn is questioning little Meri Whorin.
Judge Hawthorn, to Meri while gesturing to girls on the floor seemingly in agony: Why do these girls behave thus?
Girls, all together, rolling on floor: Make it stop!
Meri, faintly: I know not. Pretense?
Judge Hawthorn: Speak up girl.
Meri, loud: I said Pretense sir.
Girls, all together, mockingly and we see a secreted wink and smile between the girls that us unobserved by the court: Pretense sir!
Girls, all together pointing up: It is in the rafters, there it goes over there, make it go away Meri please ooooohhh.
Farmer Jon: They lie!
Danport: Hold your tongue lecher, we burn a hot fire here and we’ll hang you after your wife!
Danport: Meri, confess you danced with your friends, thereby making a pact with the devil, and you send your spirit out on these innocent girls here today.
Judge Hawthorn: Meri, 23 women and children have died this day and we’ll hang you or we’ll torture it out of you.
Suddenly there is a loud crash heard at the rear of the court room. The ceiling collapses and a large metal object falls to the floor in a cloud of dust and debris. It is unlike anything seen before, possibly a metal carriage of a sort, yellow in color with black fat wheels. A name seems to have been give it or perhaps branded by it’s owner as it reads "Oldsmobile" across the rear. As the dust settles we see a strange man has fallen in next to the carriage, a most particular man indeed. Not only is the strange man oddly attired but amazingly he appears to be adorned with a mechanical saw in place of his left hand. We rejoin the scene as the strange man rises, facing the Judge Hawthorn.
Judge Hawthorn,to the strange man: Who, or what, might you be sir, another of the devil’s allies conjured by this little girl?
Strange man: No devil, name’s Ash, but some call me Bruce.
Danport, tapping strange man on the shoulder with the handle of his whip: Then sit ye down sir, we do the lords work here.
With catlike swiftness the strange man does a double back-flip and facing Danport on the other side, lops off his head with the mechanical saw ~Brrrrraaawwwswhinng….~
Strange man, winded and licking his lips: Now the next one of you primates so much as touches me ….
Judge Hawthorn,to the strange man: What manner of man are you who takes life so cheaply? Be you on the side of the court or against? I have 9 men outside!
Strange man mumbling to himself: Man? I could have been king … in my way I guess I am kind of like a king.
Judge Hawthorn: Speak up man! Do ye know thy commandments? Let ye say them now or confess a pact with the devil!
Strange man: Yeah, I know commandments. Let’s see.. ummm Thou shall …
The strange man recites commandments, mumbling much of them and some in an inaudible voice, ending with:
"Thou shall not kill, unless it is done by a policeman or aristocrat."
Strange man: There, I said your commandments, maybe not ever word but basically I said em.
Judge Hawthorn: You cannot change God’s commandments like that.
We hear a creaking noise from the now forgotten carriage, and turning to face it see another strange man opening a door and stepping out. This man is wearing spectacles and a jacket made of a blackened animal skin with lots of silver buckles and the like. He appears to be reading a book covered in human skin and written in blood.
New Strange man, to Judge Hawthorn: Actually, I think those are in the public domain and anyone can do as they like with them as long as they paste 50 pages of disclaimer at the bottom.
Judge Hawthorn: And what mannor of devil might you be?
New Strange man: I am Cory Doctorow.
Original Strange man, to the court: now let farmer Jon and his wife free!
Abby girl , one of the girls rolling on the floor: n-n-n-nooooo! He is a lecher. He has known me sir, and in his own house. He said certain sweet things to me on those occasions.
Original Strange man: Aww that was probably just pillow talk baby.
Suddenly all the girls jump up and thrash around as if really possessed, with their hair standing on end, and the Abby girl floats up to the ceiling ranting and foaming at the mouth.
Original Strange man, to Cory: Get an Axe!
THE CURTAIN FALLS
January 11th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
*** NOTE the following scene was cut from the original work, by the author, as it interrupted the flow and led one to believe it might be a love story. It is added here for your entertainment ***
After the entrance and of the second strange man and his speech and before the original strange man makes his demand
Rev. Rainen Hail, to Meri: Remove these devils you have conjured.
Mari: I did not …
Rev. Rainen Hail, cutting Meri off: I will whip it out of you!
The right arm of the original strange man reaches back over his shoulder and back like lightning and as if by magic he now holds a short double barreled rifle in his hand and there is a ~BOOOOOOM~. Next we see startled and frozen faces rushing up as if from the point of the shot blast. We seem to fly and weave between and over heads and towards the Rev. Rainen Hail and the right up and through his right arm. There is a scream and we return to the scene as Meri is spitting out a severed hand.
Mari, to the original strange man: You saved me, my hero ..
Original strange man, cutting Meri off: Blow!
May 27th, 2008 at 12:22 am
I have never read the crucible! But I’m sure this version is MUCH BETTER! My favorite line: “thou shalt not kill, unless it is done by a policeman or aristocrat”! btw… did you enter this into any contest?